I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
