I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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