This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
