i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
two words...techno handjob
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
