I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
