It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize