the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
We don't watch enough power rangers
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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