New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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