a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
