around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
