i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
