pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
