fuck your aforementioned shoe
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
