You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
