I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
