Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
