She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
