you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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