My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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