found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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