He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
She bit a glass in half.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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