i really wish james franco would like my vagina
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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