that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Hippo gnu deer
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
