so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
