I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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