i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I think we might need a safe word for this...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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