2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
