I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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