ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
don't judge my taste in strippers
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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