I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
