I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
