wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
