This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Betty ford says i'm here all night
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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