yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
