his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
