i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
