he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
