At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
