my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
