So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
