Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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