is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
