Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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