We're facebook friends in real life
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
