Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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