remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
