He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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