I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize