I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
