I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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