You just made me feel so damn special
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
