He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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