I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
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