I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
