We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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