I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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