You can't motorboat a personality
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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