Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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