Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
