Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
