I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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