was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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