honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
