if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you didnt know i had herpes?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
